The other day I was thinking about how far I’ve come since becoming a dad. I mean, I had changed a diaper exactly one time before Oliver was born. (One time too many, if you ask me.) Now I can change the diaper of a writhing 16-month-old in seconds.
But feelings of accomplishment aside, I also thought that as parents, we should really have something to show for all our newfound skills (besides, you know, living, well-adjusted children). So I present to you, in no particular order, the Parenting Merit Badges:
Got Pooped On merit badge
(Most parents get this in the first week.)
And for the more advanced: Got Pooped On And Didn’t Care merit badge
Found Toys In My Shoes merit badge
Got Vomited On merit badge
(Spit up doesn’t count… trust me.)
Went to the ER merit badge
(A sad, but common merit badge.)
Breastfed While Standing merit badge
(Mom only–sorry Dad!)
Back to Work Merit Badge
(for that tragic day)
I’ll add more in the future. Especially as I achieve them and want some self-recognition.